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| I find Katie Holmes to be, and to have always been by the way, a weirdo. She just has never completely appealed to me. I think it’s the side-mouth she’s always sported. Then she got Cruised. Then she got a Suri. Now she’s on “So You Think You Can Dance” and I think she can get off my radar, because I’m scared of her. I’m truly scared of Katie Holmes. | | |
| Blah, blah... blah blah blahI find it insanely interesting how the rest of the world is mostly preoccupied with not adhering to personal space. While our country is supposed to be aware and thus, less judgmental of other cultures, I am fucking so goddamn sick of the outside of thighs touching the outside of my thighs at the bank just because some goddamn woman wants to sit with her legs spread-eagle, umbrella and tattered shopping bag swinging just below her mighty crotch, as I'm almost crawling up the metal arm railing, trying to rid myself of her body heat. In addition to this, I would also like to point out that if you are coming to Minneapolis, please try to not be so slow, because God help me, when I'm late for work with a big metal stick in my hand, you best be gettin' the shit outta the way. It takes every fiber of my being to not swat you, Ms. Mall Bangs, right in the middle of your cropped-pants-covered ample ass.
Seriously. Seriously. I know this isn't a new concept - the home towner complaining about the retards that overpopulate this tiny city every summer - but shouldn't they be detailing this sort of idiocy in guidebooks or something? Like, "Please refrain from walking overly slow and stopping, confused, right in the middle of rush hour. You are risking your life." And I'm a decent person - imagine (just imagine!) what real bitches must do. And those that haven't had caffeine? Jesus. Those people are ticking timebombs, my friend! Ticking timebombs! I digress. | | |
| T-BoogDue to my continuous, monotonous detailing of my hangovers in the past, I decided to update today, sans mention of liquor, booze, jollies, beer, malt liquor, Colt 45, sauce, wagons, etc. (Though I did see a rousing edition of Harry Potter last night while drinking beer)1. My hair has taken to lightening itself to ridiculous lengths. HI GROWN UP BODY! I'M 24!, NOT 40! 2. Work is sucking a fat nut. While I have fatty boom balatty NOTHING to do right now, I still keep one eye darting over my right shoulder, so as to not get caught blogging, gmailing, or tumblring. Otherwise, it's a regular day, full of omelets (mozz), espresso, and a few cigarettes. 3. Man, I could eat some more. I just ranted and raved in an email about the Cheez-it. Must I keep recommending this delicacy to everyone? I mean, have you tried the Hot & Spicy yet!?! 4. What I can continue to recommend is living with the sig. oth. I don't wanna toot my own growing horn, but the husb. and I are getting along swimmingly. I dare you to say it won't continue! We're two cute fishies, we are. | | |
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Lord have mercy | | |
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